I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
