Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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