Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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