It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
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