dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
