So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Randomize
