i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
