he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I just had sex on a roof
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Randomize
