Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
