youre lurking in front of me
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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