Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Randomize