Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
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