Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Randomize
