i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
