i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Randomize
