Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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