Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
