I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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