if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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