I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
