Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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