I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
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