never play flip cup with pint glasses
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
