is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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