Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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