i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
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