the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Randomize
