Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Randomize
