In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
