Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Randomize
