Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
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