CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
