You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Randomize
