she pinky promised me she was 18
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
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