Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
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