it was like eating out sand paper
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I supernannyed him into submission
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
