She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
