so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize