We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
pray to the hookup gods
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
