Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
