My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Randomize
