Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
