I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
He called his prostate his "boner button".
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
When are your genitals available?
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
