is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
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