conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
He did a backflip because drugs
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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