no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
