Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
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