She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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