I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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