He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
