Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
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Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
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I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
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