bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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