i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
