I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
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