My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
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