so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Randomize
