between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
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