she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
