I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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