dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Randomize
