Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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