In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
