Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
