Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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